That Drifting Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the Television Letdowns of the Year.
Looking back, we reflect on the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with woeful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final season started, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the last series. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, fans certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’
But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the problems. The laughably leaden dialogue? The tedious glorification of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate parade of tropes? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this show again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Given the restraining orders, abuse allegations and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have gleaned it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charming but dismissive egotist.
The Iris Affair
Of course we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.
The Gangster Drama
Shady characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.
In truth, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic.
With Love, Meghan
Considering the extent to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are forced to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Rather, the experience was akin to reading a sales brochure. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Inheritance
It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something far greater than it.
Too Much
How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt icky.
The Sketch Show Return
Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd inclusion of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from strangely jaunty, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for explicit escapades as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.